My last blog talked about a need to be my own true self and a need to be creative. I have determined to live 365 creative days and the reason for that is...I want to see if my life changes because of this experiment. My theory is, how could it not.
I also want to find out if it is possible to make a living throughout the next 364 days (I started yesterday), and I want to do it without stressing out at the same time. In other words I want this to be a period of joy, creative living, and have fun while I am at it.
At this time I am employed, healthy, and active. My family is grown and I can devote my free time to this project, without being concerned that I am going broke at the same time, which is a new feeling for me. Usually when I follow my dream I am unemployed, broke and slightly confused. I know I want to make a living doing what I do, but what exactly is that and how do I do it? Not this time. This time I intend to set out on my creative journey, be responsible to others and myself, and take my time doing it. I want to learn how to take my natural talents, use the right methods of applying them and combine them to make my dream come true. For the first time in all my life I think I have a real goal and a plan for achieving that goal.
I have been reading many books and taking all the information in that I can. I believe in the universe and the law of attraction. Now, applying that law will be part of the journey. I have also read about letting go of excuses, I plan to apply that theory too. I am very excited about a book I just ordered after having gone to a web site I found in a magazine that resonated so deeply with me that I couldn't resist ordering the book. I would have liked to have taken the authors course, but it isn't possible at this time. I plan to use that book to work on this experiment and see what happens. I will talk about that more later.
Now I will tell you about my creative moment yesterday. I took my two cutie patooty dogs (Dali and Charlie) to the dog groomers yesterday. After months of trimming them myself, they were in dire need of a professional. It was a twenty minute drive there and then back. While I was in the office I looked around and found the usual dog supplies on shelves. They were all nice, and I didn't think much of it, until I was driving home, preparing for the next few errands on my list.
The dog beds at the shop....they were just dog beds nothing special. Nothing special just doesn't get it done for me. I like special, spectacular, lovely, awesome and unique. I started thinking about a design that popped into my head, that would be really nice and look great in my living room, which is where my dogs plop down at the end of the day. This got me thinking about a project my daughter and I had been working on, and in fact had bought fabric for just one day before. We were making a dog bed for her huge Newfoundland Bear of a dog. The pillow was about 1 and 1/2 yards long and about 1 yard wide. it was huge, but really nice when it was finished. We made a pillow form first, then a pillow cover that zipped making it possible to wash. Extra pillow covers could be made, which would make it very handy for my daughter to wash and keep his bed clean. We had so much fun making the bed, but here's a funny twist to the story. We made the bed at my house, and when it was done we threw this gigantic pillow on the floor (it was bright, colorful and luxurious and guess what else...practical which gives me pause to think creativity and practicality can go hand and hand,lesson number one) but the fun part was yet to come. The minute the pillow was on the floor my 3 year old grandson plopped down on it and just loved it. It was just the right size for him to lay on and watch tv. Then both my Llasa Apso (Dali) and my Shi Tzu (Charlie) piled on the pillow with them. They all loved it. I proclaimed it Dog, Bed and Beyond. We all laughed.
Now as I headed back home, while waiting for the dogs, I thought about that day, about dog bed designs. As soon as I got home I drew the design I saw in my head and sat it on the kitchen counter. Now that was day one of creative living. I won't discount the project, I will let things happen as they will, but for today, day 2. I am going to begin sewing that first pillow from that first design. I can hardly wait.
Beau Joli.
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Friday, September 4, 2009
Beau Joli, living life creatively the next 365 days
365 Days of Creativity
Two days ago I made a commitment, (to myself) to live a more creative life. As a woman of a certain age....life was beginning to look a little short. In other words "Life is Short" had a very real meaning. If you knew me, or know me, you would probably think I have already been living life creatively and you would be right. I have always danced to the rhythm of a different drum, and for the most part, happily so. The problem was, while I danced to that drummer's song, others would look and wonder why I wasn't like everyone else, while I would think, why would I want to be? They didn't look like they were having all that much fun.
I danced away, having a wonderful time, until one day one persons criticism really hit a nerve. I had been working at a series of jobs, (none seemed to really fit me) and was currently unemployed, which of course causes havoc with one's income. While I was floundering trying to find my way, I began dodging arrows from a more grounded person, who was working very hard at a job he had had for his entire lifetime. The comment.... You do what you always do, while I work. Oh...the shame. All of a sudden I realised my being me was making life difficult for another. He was right, of course, I was, as usual, being me.
In that one moment my world completely tilted, and that tilt really screwed up my view for a very long time. The rose colored glasses I had worn all my life snapped in two, and I suddenly saw the world in a whole new light. It wasn't pretty and I determined from that moment on to live like it seemed everyone else was living. In the end I was right, it wasn't very much fun.
I got a regular job, that paid well, (a big change for me) and worked it like there was no tomorrow. The universe has a sense of humor too, because the job I got couldn't have been more grounded or worse for who I really was.
Each day became a grueling attempt at fitting in, being normal and really not being who I really am, doing what I really do. Now I could see why so many people are on antidepressants. However, in the process of hitting the ground hard and living through it, I began to see this as an opportunity and this is why.
One day while getting ready for work I was showering and thinking life just wasn't worth it. My relationship with my critic was awful, my feelings about my job was awful, and nothing seemed to make me happy anymore. I used to be able to create beautiful decor for myself and others, now I could barely notice color let alone get creative with it. I thought for one tiny instant, what would happen if I just wasn't here anymore... and then shook with the idea that that had even popped into my head. I knew I was in big trouble. I called my best friend and admitted with chagrin what happened. She was instantly concerned and wanted me to promise I would go to the doctor and get a prescription for antidepressants. I refused and this is why.
There were serious reasons why my life wasn't working and a pill might cover up how I felt about it, but it wouldn't fix it. The problem, and the reason I felt like I did, would still be there lodged like a bullet in my heart . That wound was finally becoming fatal. Deep down I knew that some little pill might mask the symptoms I was feeling, but it wouldn't heal the heart. It wouldn't take care of what the real problem was. I was not being my own true self.
For the next few weeks I continued to work, but did my work methodically, to the best of my ability, all the while I thought continuously about what had gone so wrong. I thought and thought and thought. I came to some very good conclusions. Yes I had always done what I always do, (that sounds wrong, but it's true) and for the most part I didn't regret it, what I finally understood was that I needed to take it to the next level. I had to find what I was good at and make a living at it, with a twist, I needed to make a serious commitment to it, hang on to the very end and along the way enjoy the ride. I became convinced that this was the way to make what I DO work and hopefully not make anyone else miserable along the way.
One thing was clear, I could no longer ignore the vast emptiness of my heart, it was now or never, time to live the life I knew I could live. This life would be lived with creativity, joy and happiness. And that's what this blog is all about. I decided to take the next 365 days and live creatively. The goal.... to create a business that would support me, be a blessing to others, and add beauty to my life and beauty to the lives of those I come in contact with and I wanted to do that without harming or hurting anyone in the process. I wanted to make the lives of others that have any connection with me to be better during the following year.
Can I do it... I believe I can.
Beau Joli
Two days ago I made a commitment, (to myself) to live a more creative life. As a woman of a certain age....life was beginning to look a little short. In other words "Life is Short" had a very real meaning. If you knew me, or know me, you would probably think I have already been living life creatively and you would be right. I have always danced to the rhythm of a different drum, and for the most part, happily so. The problem was, while I danced to that drummer's song, others would look and wonder why I wasn't like everyone else, while I would think, why would I want to be? They didn't look like they were having all that much fun.
I danced away, having a wonderful time, until one day one persons criticism really hit a nerve. I had been working at a series of jobs, (none seemed to really fit me) and was currently unemployed, which of course causes havoc with one's income. While I was floundering trying to find my way, I began dodging arrows from a more grounded person, who was working very hard at a job he had had for his entire lifetime. The comment.... You do what you always do, while I work. Oh...the shame. All of a sudden I realised my being me was making life difficult for another. He was right, of course, I was, as usual, being me.
In that one moment my world completely tilted, and that tilt really screwed up my view for a very long time. The rose colored glasses I had worn all my life snapped in two, and I suddenly saw the world in a whole new light. It wasn't pretty and I determined from that moment on to live like it seemed everyone else was living. In the end I was right, it wasn't very much fun.
I got a regular job, that paid well, (a big change for me) and worked it like there was no tomorrow. The universe has a sense of humor too, because the job I got couldn't have been more grounded or worse for who I really was.
Each day became a grueling attempt at fitting in, being normal and really not being who I really am, doing what I really do. Now I could see why so many people are on antidepressants. However, in the process of hitting the ground hard and living through it, I began to see this as an opportunity and this is why.
One day while getting ready for work I was showering and thinking life just wasn't worth it. My relationship with my critic was awful, my feelings about my job was awful, and nothing seemed to make me happy anymore. I used to be able to create beautiful decor for myself and others, now I could barely notice color let alone get creative with it. I thought for one tiny instant, what would happen if I just wasn't here anymore... and then shook with the idea that that had even popped into my head. I knew I was in big trouble. I called my best friend and admitted with chagrin what happened. She was instantly concerned and wanted me to promise I would go to the doctor and get a prescription for antidepressants. I refused and this is why.
There were serious reasons why my life wasn't working and a pill might cover up how I felt about it, but it wouldn't fix it. The problem, and the reason I felt like I did, would still be there lodged like a bullet in my heart . That wound was finally becoming fatal. Deep down I knew that some little pill might mask the symptoms I was feeling, but it wouldn't heal the heart. It wouldn't take care of what the real problem was. I was not being my own true self.
For the next few weeks I continued to work, but did my work methodically, to the best of my ability, all the while I thought continuously about what had gone so wrong. I thought and thought and thought. I came to some very good conclusions. Yes I had always done what I always do, (that sounds wrong, but it's true) and for the most part I didn't regret it, what I finally understood was that I needed to take it to the next level. I had to find what I was good at and make a living at it, with a twist, I needed to make a serious commitment to it, hang on to the very end and along the way enjoy the ride. I became convinced that this was the way to make what I DO work and hopefully not make anyone else miserable along the way.
One thing was clear, I could no longer ignore the vast emptiness of my heart, it was now or never, time to live the life I knew I could live. This life would be lived with creativity, joy and happiness. And that's what this blog is all about. I decided to take the next 365 days and live creatively. The goal.... to create a business that would support me, be a blessing to others, and add beauty to my life and beauty to the lives of those I come in contact with and I wanted to do that without harming or hurting anyone in the process. I wanted to make the lives of others that have any connection with me to be better during the following year.
Can I do it... I believe I can.
Beau Joli
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Beau Joli, 365 Days of Life lived Creatively
After working for the last ten years at more jobs than I would like to
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)